I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
