Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
