8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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