you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
we should paint friendship bongs
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