I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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