Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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