What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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