Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
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