I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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