im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
