did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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