Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize