I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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