So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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