If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
