I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
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My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
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So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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