I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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