And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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