capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
