So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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