Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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