My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
