just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
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I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
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I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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