I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
