it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
