Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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