Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
