Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
