i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
