shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Why did my mother make you get naked?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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