i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
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just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
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i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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