Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
and she was petting her beer can
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
