Sponge bath it is.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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