I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
