im drinking this country out of the recession.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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