I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
