Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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