You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Randomize
