Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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