i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
