just come out here and I will go home with you...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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