it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
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She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I am available for nakedness
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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