Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
