i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
