I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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