I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
