i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
