we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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