why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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