That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
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I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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