I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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