im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
